60 Thoughts Everyone Has When Deciding to Go Out or Stay In February 13, 2017
The struggle is real, my friends.
1. It’s FINALLY Friday.
2. Time to paaaartaaaaay!!!
3. Only one minor problem…
4. I’m so exhausted I could face-plant into my pillow.
5. Do I say that every week?
6. Well, I mean it this time.
7. All I want to do is curl up under a fort of fuzzy blankets.
8. And hibernate with my best friend in the whole entire world…
10. But ughhhhh I have plans to go out tonight.
11. Note to my cheery Monday self:
12. ARE YOU LISTENING, MONDAY SELF?
13. Think twice before making a weekend dinner reservation.
14. I mean it.
15. But I should just suck it up and go, right?
16. I’ll suffer from the worst case of FOMO if I skip.
17. TIME TO RALLY.
18. On three… one, two…
19. Wait a second… I don’t even know if I’m going to like the food at the restaurant.
20. And if there are minuscule portions, I’m seriously gonna lose it.
21. I mean, I’m all about portion control, but COME ON.
22. No one in their right mind would be full after that.
23. And I’m 100% going to want seconds. No question about it.
25. And what’s the deal with the dim lighting at some restaurants?
26. I DON’T HAVE NIGHT VISION.
27. It’s not romantic if you can’t see the other person.
28. Or hear them.
29. Two words for you: Thomas Edison.
30. Use his invention, people.
31. What if the waiter keeps refilling my water glass and I have to pee seven times during dinner?
32. What if there’s only one bathroom stall?
33. AHH snap out of it.
34. Remember, FOMO, FOMO, FOMO.
35. But serious question: do I really want to put on something nice right now?
36. Or take a shower?
37. Or comb my hair?
38. Wait — when was the last time I took a shower?
39. What if there’s not a coat check?
40. What if there is a coat check and I lose the ticket?
41. I really, really, really like my coat.
42. What if I can’t find a parking spot?
43. Will my dog hate me if I leave?
44. Will my friends hate me if I bail?
45. Ugh I’m so hungry.
46. This is a lose-lose situation.
47. FOMO, FOMO, FOMO
48. SOMEONE PLEASE HELP
49. Wait, what am I thinking?
50. I have a fully functioning kitchen.
51. My fridge is stocked.
52. Why can’t I transform my home into the best restaurant in town?
53. Change of plans!! I’m cooking at home.
54. **calls to invite boyfriend, girlfriend, wife, husband, sister, brother, friend, friends, friend of a friend, or second cousin twice removed to the cooking party**
55. Take THAT, restaurants.
56. My bank account will LOVE me.
57. So will my dog.
58. Maybe I should shower, though.
59. Reservations IN are genius
60. This is going to be fun.